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And I still want to have parties and fun and sex, but I don't want to be running anymore. Or maybe it's better to say that I don't need to run anymore. I ran out of fear, Moira. I ran because I'd made the life I had with Lisa and Paul into the perfect domestic scene, at least in my head. And if I never again was settled down as a husband with a perfect wife and child and home, then it could never be taken away again, right?"But over the last few months, I've slowly come to realize that running away couldn't protect me — that my ship and my fun and my 'girls' — and most, most especially you, Moira, were as important to me as Lisa and Paul ever had been. As Joanne left, and then Kate left, it hurt more than I allowed myself to show. And yes, Moira, if I'd tried to have this conversation with you a couple of weeks ago, you'd have been right in thinking that I was just afraid to lose you too."It's funny how things go, isn't it. Moira — it was Saralinda who made me realize a lot of. And again.My size was finally good for something, I decided, as I realized it wasn’t terribly difficult to hold him down. Carver was strong – he was a warrior, after all – but I was no slouch either, training with Aveline and Fenris whenever possible to keep my body in peak condition, and the extra weight I had compared to my little brother meant he didn’t have much chance of squirming out of my grasp.I spanked him with the belt over and over, turning the skin on his ass a violent red; he shouted for a while, before finally breaking down into sobs, begging me to stop. A misplaced blow landed between his legs by mistake, and I saw the skin between his anus and his balls swell up and turn bright red. It suddenly dawned on me the blatant sexuality of the situation I found myself in: holding a man down, his ass bare to my gaze, his balls and cock hanging down below, his legs separated by the corner of the bed he was prostrate over. I’d always been rather dominant in bed – not that I’d.
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